TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
MILLIE: I is…
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, “I am.”
MILLIE: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
LOUIE: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
[Thanks to Ariel Dimacali for this one and the other jokes he sent us.]